Learning to Trust Yourself Again (Especially When the World Told You Not To)

There’s this quiet moment that many of us come to when we look back and realize just how often we’ve doubted ourselves. Not because we were wrong, but because we were taught to second-guess every instinct, soften every opinion, and shrink every truth we felt too strongly.

We learned to ask for permission. To filter our voice through politeness. To wonder, Am I being too sensitive? Too much? Too emotional? Too bossy?

And somewhere along the way, we stopped trusting ourselves. Not just in the big decisions but in the tiny, daily ones too. What we want. What we need. What feels right.

Where the Doubt Starts

It often begins young. We’re praised for being agreeable. For being easygoing. For putting others first. We internalize the idea that being “good” means being quiet, nice, or small. And then life continues to reinforce it—in classrooms, boardrooms, relationships.

So when a gut feeling rises up, a flicker of discomfort, a deep knowing, a loud yes or a quiet no - we sometimes push it down.

We tell ourselves: Maybe I’m overthinking. Maybe I’m being dramatic. Maybe they know better.

But what if you were right the first time?

The Cost of Not Listening to Yourself

When we ignore our instincts long enough, we start to lose the connection altogether. We begin outsourcing our decisions - to friends, to partners, to strangers online. We start looking for “proof” or validation before we move forward.

It’s exhausting. And it leaves us feeling disoriented in our own lives. Like we’re performing instead of participating.

And maybe that’s the most painful part, not just losing trust in others, but in ourselves.

Rebuilding Self-Trust Isn’t Loud—It’s Gentle

This isn’t about becoming unshakable overnight. It’s about slowly, quietly, coming home to your own voice.

Here’s what that might look like:

• Start small. Ask yourself what you want for breakfast - not what you should have, but what you want. Then trust that answer.

• Notice your gut reactions. Not everything needs overthinking. That first feeling you get? It matters.

• Pause before you explain. You don’t always need a reason to say no. Or yes. Let your boundary exist without apology.

• Reflect on when you were right. Keep a running list if you need to. Remind yourself of the times your intuition had your back.

• Speak it out loud. Whether in a journal, a voice note, or to a trusted friend - naming your truth helps anchor it.

What If You’re the Expert on You?

Let that question linger.

You know your patterns. You know your body. You know what excites you, scares you, drains you, heals you. No one else lives in your skin.

You can absolutely take advice. Learn. Ask questions. But never again at the cost of silencing yourself. You can be open and self-trusting. Curious and confident.

You don’t have to prove your worth to be worthy. You don’t have to explain your intuition to make it valid.

You’re Allowed to Come Back to Yourself

This is your permission slip, not from the world, but from you. To trust your gut. To take up space. To pause before pleasing. To rebuild the relationship with the one voice that’s been with you all along: your own.

It’s not about never doubting again. It’s about learning that your doubt doesn’t discredit your truth.

And maybe, just maybe, the most radical thing you can do as a woman, is believe yourself.